What does the perfect body look like?
Well, that’s an easy question to answer; big boobs, tiny waist and a big butt. But should you kill to get that, is it really worth it to starve yourself for it?
Here’s my journey;
So I used to be fat, oh wait no fat is a bad word, I mean chubby. I was “chubby” and pretty much okay with whatever I did look like till last year. But guess who wasn’t okay with what I looked like?
The people around me. Yay!
So, these ‘people’ always pointed out on how it wasn’t healthy for me to be this ‘chubby’ and how I would apparently not be liked by anyone cuz of how ‘chubby’ I was and blah blah blah (trust me the list goes on).
So one fine day, I got fed up like most other teenagers would. I decided on working out, and mind you I have had numerous work out routines before that went on for a month and then slowly ended up in me not caring anymore.
The difference with this ‘work out routine’ was that, this was out of obsession and the others were for me. So even if I didn’t work out for a day, I never really felt bad and to be honest I think that is how it should be; working out is something you need to enjoy otherwise it doesn’t really show results or it shows little to no results.
Now this where my journey to getting that ‘perfect’ body started. Going on the weighing scale every week to check how much I lost. Waking up early in the morning to hit the gym. Controlling my diet.
But, never really being content with what I looked like at the moment.
The goal was to shed all the ‘fat’ to prove to everyone that even I can be thin and ‘pretty’.
It was all fun but then it slowly took a turn, I became obsessed with the idea of losing more and more weight, at this point it wasn’t really about looking good anymore but just losing more weight. Yes, this is called anorexia too.
Anorexia: “An eating disorder causing people to obsess about weight and what they eat.”
Showcasing my progress through instagram posts became pretty much a normal thing to me in order to seek ‘validation‘ from the crowd. And I did get it, but the obsession just kept growing.
Consuming one cookie meant 30 mins of extra working out. Now you could only imagine how much of the extra work out time was needed till my brain thought I could burn an entire pizza worth of calories.
Fast forward to 10 months down the line and there we have it, 17 kgs gone.
But guess who was still not okay with how my body looked?
The people around me! (Double the Yay!)
Because apparently now I became ‘too thin’
I think that is when it hit me really, that people will always point flaws in you. No matter how perfect you look. (No, I do not mean that I look perfect. No one does really) No matter how much weight you shed and no matter how perfectly proportionate your body becomes. In the eyes of the society, you will always have something that they can point out on.
And the sad thing is, its not just me who went through this. Every other girl out there goes through it and the obsession slowly but surely becomes everything in their life but no one really sees that, and even if they do no one cares enough to keep them negative opinions to themselves.
Was the journey to get that body worth it?
Yes, for me because I learnt to be content with whatever I do look like. No, for people because apparently I was ‘cuter’ back when I was ‘chubby’.
But, here is where the hypocrisy comes in; talk to anyone out there and they will tell you how it’s not right to equalize thin and beautiful, but these are the same people that tell you to lose weight. And oh boi when you do lose weight, you’ll not get positive reactions from all, in fact you’ll get a lot of negative reactions on how thin you look. Or, in other cases you’d get negative reactions cleverly masked by positive reactions.
So, honestly don’t listen to what people tell you, lose weight if you want to but for yourself. Not for others because you will never be able to satisfy them and most of all; YOUR body is ABOUT YOU. So, live on and enjoy whatever you are doing and don’t give two shits about the opinions others hold on you because most of the times the people who criticize about how you look are just saying it for the heck of it.